LXG Woke Up Fluffy
by FormerlyKnownAsPhoenix
Summary: Pure INsanity -- rating may go up later... ;)
1. Chapter One

LXG woke up Fluffy  
  
This is PURE INSANITY, making much use of the mighty CAPS LOCK and the celestial BEEP – NO OFFENCE is meant!  
  
Tom Sawyer threw off his covers, which looked decidedly fluffier than they had the night before. He frowned slightly, then shook his head and stumbled into the bathroom, reaching for his favourite shampoo...  
  
He stepped out of the shower, wiped the steam off the mirror, and screamed. His hair was bright, fluorescent, bubble-gum pink!  
  
He staggered back to his bedroom, numb with shock. He looked towards his bed, searching for the clothes he discarded the night before, and screamed again.  
  
"What the BEEP? Why the BEEP is BEEPING Dorian in my BEEPING bed!?!"  
  
Dorian raised an eyebrow. "Funny you should mention fu-"  
  
DORIAN! shouted the author. You're not allowed to swear in my humorous fanfictions! You're only allowed to BEEP!  
  
Dorian sighed. "Fine. I'll go and find Skinner, he understands me..."  
  
"But I'm 'ere already, luv."  
  
Tom screamed again.  
  
Dorian delicately raised one hand to his ear. "Tom, my shagadelic sex bunny, could you possibly cease the screaming? Or at least come over here and make ME scream..."  
  
Tom screamed again.  
  
"What's all this screaming?" roared a heavily accented Scottish voice from outside the door.  
  
Tom screamed and searched for something, ANYTHING to cover up his manhood, before...  
  
The door burst off its hinges, having been slammed by Mr. Hyde's shoulder. Q strode in while Mr. Hyde stood, breathing heavily in the doorway.  
  
"What on earth is going on?" boomed Q. "Why is Tom nude except for a battered copy of Vampires Playboy? Why is his hair bright, fluorescent, bubble-gum pink? Why am I only speaking in questions? Why can I not speak in a normal tone of voice? Why am I being referred to as Q? Answer me!"  
  
The author cowered behind the nude Tom. Erm...? She quavered. I couldn't remember how to spell your name...  
  
"WHAT?!? But I am the almighty, return from the dead, best shot in the waters and on dry land Q! Worship me! Bow down before me!"  
  
See? You can't remember how to spell your name either...  
  
She yelped as he took a swing at her. She dodged, and all Q accomplished was knocking aside Tom's battered copy of Vampires Playboy and causing Dorian, the author, and about half the earth's population to sigh with happiness.  
  
"Stop sighing with happiness, gel! You got us into this mess, now you've got to get us out of it!"  
  
Well, technically, that is, as we say, incorrect. You ARE the heroes in this vicinity, yes? Then, by your very job description, actually, it is, as you so quaintly put it, up to YOU to get us out of it...  
  
~~  
  
Will they? Won't they? Who's next to go pink? What is next to turn fluffy? Where the BEEP is Mina?!?  
  
~~~  
  
R/R folks! Don't forget, I own diddly squat, I love you, Tom is my prrrreciiiiousssss, flames will be used to heat my hovel, and did I mention I love you?  
  
Btb, this is my first EVER LXG fic, as I only bought the DVD last week! 


	2. Intermission

Yay! You liked it!  
  
Seriously, feel free to flame if you hate bits of it, I'm just being randomly insane...  
  
Drowchild – yes, I agree SERIOUS MarySues need to die... I like funny ones! ;)  
  
Steffi-333 – thanks for reviewing! Who would you like to go fluffy? I am happy for people to make requests... *grins evilly*  
  
A. L. Nowicki – I'm glad you like it! I'll bring Jeckyll in for ya – anything in partic you'd like to happen to him...?  
  
elven-emma – I'm glad you find me funny – some people think I'm just scary! Now, where would they possibly get that from...? *smiles innocently*  
  
Rayne – I may have to elaborate on the Vampires Playboy then... I just chucked it in as a funny, but I can continue... *grins* And I'm sure Mina will be appearing soon... just not this chapter, cos I already wrote it before I read my reviews... oops... ;)  
  
Vic – As I said ^above^ Mina will be appearing soon... and I'll be sure to elaborate on Vampires Playboy! :D 


	3. Chapter Two

LXG Woke Up Fluffy  
  
I own diddly squat, and Tom is my prreciousssssss.........  
  
~  
  
Chapter Two  
  
~~  
  
Just to recap last Chapter...  
  
Tom is nude except for a battered copy of Vampires Playboy, has bright, luminous, bubble-gum pink hair and is having trouble stopping screaming. Apparently, Tom, Dorian and Skinner are part of some gay love triangle, yet Tom cannot remember the events of last night at all. Mina is still missing, Q is still shouting, and Hyde is standing around looking lost.  
  
~  
  
And the insanity continues...  
  
~~  
  
Hyde, while standing around looking lost, began to feel the Elixir leaving his system. He growled, agonizingly slow in returning to his Dr. Jeckyll form. Before he could grab hold of them, Jeckyll's trousers fell, revealing his pale lilac fluffy knickers. Tom screamed.  
  
"WILL YOU SHUT THE BEEP UP!" screamed the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen ((minus Mina, Nemo and obviously Tom didn't shout at himself.))  
  
"I have problems," whimpered Tom.  
  
Dorian smiled, sexily. "Come here, sugar, let Mummy make it all better..."  
  
Skinner raised an invisible eyebrow, then realised no one else could see his sarcasm. He decided to voice his opinion instead. "Ok, that's just wrong..."  
  
Tom considered screaming then saw Q's glare and decided against it. Instead, he cast his gaze to Skinner, or where he assumed Skinner was, and retorted, "I'm still not getting what's going on here. I'm confused as to why I am Dorian's shagadelic sex bunny without knowing it, and how the BEEP are you involved?!?"  
  
"Wow."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You DID drink a lot last night..."  
  
"What the BEEP are you on? I don't drink! ...do I?"  
  
~@~  
  
*flashback* [insert dodgy music and psycadelic effect of your own choice]  
  
"I believe I'll start with a white wine spritzer..."  
  
"Dorian, that is such a gay drink..."  
  
"I'm comfortable with my sexuality, thank you!"  
  
"Well, I'm sticking with my double... no, make that a triple gin..."  
  
"Skinner, that's so an old man's drink!"  
  
"Well, I note you have yet to try a drop, Master Sawyer..."  
  
"You're creepy when you say that Dorian..."  
  
"I believe I'll ignore that comment... Just have a glass of punch if you aren't man enough for something stronger..."  
  
~@~  
  
A little later...  
  
"I am TWICE the man you are, Rodian..."  
  
"I think the young 'uns had a little too much... what do you reckon, Dorian?"  
  
"You take that back! I'm not drunk!"  
  
"Of course you aren't, Master Sawyer..."  
  
~@~  
  
Later still...  
  
"You know what... I love you guysh..."  
  
"Oh, Tommy, I love you too!"  
  
"Tommy?"  
  
"And I love you Rodney!"  
  
"Well, I 'av ter say, Dorian, you are shaggable... I think I need one more drink first..."  
  
~@~  
  
Several drinks later...  
  
"Oh, Tommy!"  
  
"Oh Rodian!"  
  
"Hey, what about me!? 'Oh, Rodney', anyone?"  
  
~@~  
  
*end flashback*  
  
~~  
  
What will be the League's reaction, dear readers? Where the BEEP is Mina hiding? Is it significant that Nemo is also M.I.A...?  
  
Tune in tomorrow... 


	4. Intermission

Graymoon74 – teehee, spanking... I wrote this last weekend, after I first saw LXG, then I scouted for some LXG Fanfic, and I found yours and loved it! I'll try to be original and not steal your ideas tho...  
  
blue-elf3001 – I hope ya keep reading – poke me if it sucks!  
  
Rayne – Thanks for staying with me! Hope ya like this chapter – this is the last one written, so I'll start using everyon'es ideas for Chapter four... :D  
  
The Sardonic One - that gives me an idea... *evil laugh*  
  
Steffi-333 - *has scary mental image of Nemo in that 'Lady Marmalade' video...* great idea!! IT may have to be used... :D:D  
  
A. L. Nowicki – I think there is definitely room for more gayness... :D 


	5. Chapter Three

LXG Woke Up Fluffy  
  
I own nothing.  
  
Not even me...  
  
~  
  
This is pure insanity, no offence is meant, Tom is still my prrrecciousss, and I'm still high on sugar...  
  
~~  
  
Chapter Three  
  
~  
  
To recap...  
  
Mina and Nemo are yet to reappear from whatever hole they are hiding in, we've been given an insight into Tom's late night activities and the colour of Jeckyll's underwear. ((Did we really want to know the last one...?)) Tom is still pink, Skinner is still invisible, Dorian is still... 'flamboyant'...  
  
And Tom is still screaming...  
  
~~  
  
"Sawyer, I didn't think you had it in you, you rascal," chuckled Q.  
  
Tom was silent.  
  
Dorian leaned over to Skinner and whispered, "Why isn't he screaming?"  
  
"I think your bunny's in shock..."  
  
"I am no-one's bunny!" screamed Tom.  
  
"Aaah... here we go..." muttered Skinner as he raised his hands to his ears.  
  
Suddenly, the door to Tom's wardrobe fell off, cutting off Tom's tirade. Nemo and Mina fell out onto Tom's floor, looking a tad dishevelled...  
  
Tom screamed.  
  
Mina glanced at the author. "Could you do something about that? It's beginning to grate..."  
  
No way! Tom is my prrrecioussssss, and may therefore do exactly as he pleases.  
  
Mina grabbed the author round the throat.  
  
I'll... I'll see what I can do...  
  
Mina let go and smiled.  
  
Hey! shouted the author. This is my story! Stop rebelling!  
  
Mina raised her hand and...  
  
I'll be good! I'll be good! whimpered the author. I'm going to hide behind Tom again...  
  
"Could I at least get some clothes?" Tom muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "Mina and Nemo have defiled my wardrobe..."  
  
~~  
  
What in the deep blue sea is happening aboard the Nautilus? Why are the characters rebelling? Where have I mislaid Dr. Jeckyll? Why are they no longer making use of the celestial BEEP? Is Q the only person still in character? Why do I keep asking these idiotic questions at the end of every chapter? WHERE ARE THE PURPLE MARSHMELLOWS!?!  
  
...  
  
...I need my sugar...  
  
~  
  
Sorry it's rather short folks, my microbiology teacher borrowed my DVD and I need it back to get my... er... 'inspiration' flowing...  
  
Seriously, I welcome feedback, feel free to throw your random insanity my way...  
  
~~  
  
My chocolate is melty...  
  
~~  
  
So, waddya think? Ideas, flames and cookies welcomed!  
  
Tom: Especially Ideas!  
  
Quiet you...  
  
Tom: Poor Tom's a-cold...  
  
This isn't King Lear! Sssh, or no more sugar!  
  
~  
  
LET's ALL KILL THE WRITER's BLOCK FAIRY!  
  
*everyone stares*  
  
I'll hide now...  
  
*runs off after prrrrrrrrrecioussssssssssssss*  
  
Tom: Heeeelp Meeee!!  
  
~~  
  
Should the insanity continue? I need to know... are you amused...? or just scared...? 


	6. Intermission

Rayne – yay, you're still with me! Sorry the chappies are so short, but I'm trying to update quickly! :D :D  
  
elven-emma – She probably wanted to ogle the manly goodness... And you're so right, that is exactly what I should have screamed at her! Snappy comebacks are never there when you need them...  
  
Steffi-333 – No not my sugar! :D *padlocks prrreciouss and sugar to self* hmm... should the Purple Marshmellows be incorporated into the story...?  
  
Drowchild – yay! I'm glad I amuse you... :D :D 


	7. Chapter Four

LXG Woke Up Fluffy  
  
~~  
  
Thank you for the camera idea! I just had to use it... *grins evilly*  
  
~~  
  
Once again I am required to tell you how much I DON'T own. I DON'T own Tom, I DON'T own Skinner, I DON'T own Dorian OR his flamboyancy. I DON'T own Mina, I DON'T own Nemo, I DON'T own Jeckyll or his underwear, I don't even know if I own Vampires Playboy...  
  
Speaking of Vampires Playboy...  
  
~~  
  
"Hey!" said Mina. "Why the hell does Tom have my copy of Vampires Playboy?"  
  
Why the hell are you swearing so much? asked the author, incredulously. You're sposed to be a proper Victorian Lady – they don't even say 'Sugar!' or 'Golly Gosh!'  
  
"Do I have to revert to being threatening again?" growled Mina, flashing her teeth.  
  
"I though I had the monopoly on flashing..." sulked Skinner.  
  
"Quiet you!" snarled Mina.  
  
Stop stealing my lines! wailed the author. Behave, you bad vampire, or I'll set Buffy on you!  
  
"I could kick Buffy's ass ANYday..." boasted Mina.  
  
"I would actually pay to see that..." mused Rodney.  
  
"What's with the ACDC?" queried Mina. "I thought you were one of a long line of Dorian's sex bunnies..."  
  
Tom whimpered. "Am I just another notch on your belt? Did last night mean nothing to you?"  
  
Mina raised a quizzical eyebrow. "You don't even REMEMBER last night... however, I have something to remind you..."  
  
Mina reached into Nemo's beard and withdrew a mini camcorder.  
  
Where the hell did you get that? raged the author. This is turn of the Century Victorian London, not bloody Hollywood!  
  
"I have my sources..." she said, mysteriously.  
  
*Ooh, gimme, gimme!* whooped Edward Hyde, for only Jeckyll to hear.  
  
This story is taking a disturbing turn...  
  
~~  
  
What will happen next folks? Will Tom ever remember what occurred last night? Will we find out what Nemo and Mina were up to in that closet? What else is hidden in Nemo's beard? Where on earth has Q run off to?  
  
Be back soon...  
  
~~  
  
More apologies for short chapter, but you did want a quick update...  
  
~~  
  
Again, ideas and reviews are welcome, flames will be used to keep the PlotBunnies at bay...  
  
~~  
  
By the way, does anyone know how to get bold and italics working on here? Do I need to use html or something...?  
  
~~  
  
By the way ((again)), please do tell me if I step over the line, and votes for who to fluffify next are needed!  
  
~~  
  
By the way ((yet again)), I do want and need your views! Do you want more Jeckyll? Does Tom need to scream some more? Should Q come out of character? Should I finally learn how to spell his name...? ;)  
  
~~  
  
By the way ((I'll stop soon, I promise!)), I just bought 'The Strange Case of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde' today, so I'll be reading that and getting even MORE weird ideas... :D 


	8. Intermission

Dr.Logana Jekyll - :D I'm glad you like! My dentist has told me I'm not allowed sugar anymore... but I will defy him!  
  
A. L. Nowicki – I'll have to think up some cunning plans for him...  
  
Rayne – being hyper is fun! How else would I write these stories?! :D and I've corrected the spelling in the next chapter, but I can't be bothered to re-upload the old chappies... ;)  
  
Steffi-333 – How bad should I let the swearing go..? :D And yes, you were very helpful... we may have to see what else Nemo has hiding in his beard... :D Now I need to go away and think of horrible things to do to Mary-Sues... :D make a suggestion, everyone! 


	9. Chapter Five

LXG Woke Up Fluffy  
  
~*~  
  
And the insanity will not stop!  
  
~*~  
  
The League crowded round Mina's tiny camera, all peering at the even tinier screen. Ignoring the author's cries of This is impossible! This is COMPLETELY impossible! Mina swiftly fast-forwarded through several jerky scenes of indescribable origin, before arriving at a poor quality section, seemingly shot through a keyhole.  
  
Well, at least Nemo and Mina weren't... you know... said the author, relieved.  
  
Tom turned to her, distraught. "They were making a porn film of me! That's not any better!"  
  
Tut, tut. Someone's been neglecting his sugar... The author reached into Jekyll's black doctors bag and withdrew a very sharp looking needle and a packet of pixie stix. After some complicated fiddling, she plunged the needle into Tom's bottom and released a quick dose of sugar into his blood stream.  
  
"Aaah..." Tom sighed happily, eyes slightly glazed and rather out of focus. He clasped his hands above his head, and began to pirouette, apparently oblivious to the fact that the battered copy of Vampires Playboy had, yet again, become dislodged, causing an immediate rise in sighs of happiness.  
  
The author held up the needle, sticky residue dripping from it. Anyone else need a sugar boost? she asked, looking slightly dangerous. When they all shook their heads, mutely, she jammed the needle into her own arm and began to pas de chat with Tom.  
  
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight..." drawled Mina. "Well, as the author is suffering a sugar overdose... I guess I'm in charge of this story now..."  
  
~*~  
  
Will the purple marshmallows ever appear? What the hell is Mina scheming? Will Tom ever find some clothes? "NO!" Shut up Dorian!  
  
~*~  
  
What'll happen next? What crazy things should Mina make them do? Sorry for the short chapters, my dentist made me cut back on my sugar... 


	10. Intermission

HIYA!

Sorry about the SIX MONTH wait – I can't get internet at uni without traipsing over to the IT suite… : (

Also, we have electricians ripping the floorboards up in our house, so my writing will have to be done on this comp alone, not my beloved laptop in my room, and I have to share this comp with three other people! 8-0 ((sposd to b a scared face, didn't quite work))

Now, I wrote the next chapter, but forgot to type it up, so I have to find it – but I will try and write a lot more often, and curb back on my wild student lifestyle! No more snakebite for me and my preciousssssssss!

RAYNE – Hmm, what shall we do with Mina… _thinks evil thoughts_

GRAYMOON74 – Would you like to know the details of the porn film…? _buys pixie stix off shady dealer_

STEFFI-333 – AYE!! Tom shall have to remain naked for the entirety of this fic… which I have no idea how long it will be! I have no plot, I just write a chapter, then post it, without any thought of what is going to come next!

ELVEN-EMMA – Funny costumes?!? PERFECTUMUNDO! _starts designing orange tutu headdress_ Now, where is my jumbo tub of purple marshmallows…?

LIL-ANGEL-KAORI – _bows in submission_ WRITES. MORE. NOW! concocts dastardly plan chiefly featuring Jekyll and 'Angela'

IMMORTALTIGERWOLF – _hugs and won't let go_ MY SPECIAL PERSON! She lives round the corner from me, y'know! And NO, I did NOT pay her to review my fanfic! _hurriedly passes bribes to Tiger_ Luminous green waistcoat, hmm? Sounds perfect to go with the bright orange tutu headdress! :D

LILLY – Screaming Tom – check! Dorian bitch-slapped – check! Threesome to Foursome – check!

MWPP-LOVER – _hurries to update_ Must… have… reviews!!

PIXIE13 – _feels special_ What is the measure of sanity versus insanity? PURPLE MARSHMELLOWS!!

DIABLOCAT – _produces madness_ Glad to see I tickled your funny bone! :D

DEPP-LUVER49 – JOHNNY DEPP IS THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE! _breathes heavily, gets strange looks_ what?? He IS!!!

SIBILLE LANOIRE – Preccioussss has a very addictive personality! _In background, Tom shoots up sugar with a bottle of Dooley's ((Toffee Vodka))_ but its all good, I'll take him to rehab! _hugs prreciousss, Tom screams in vain to get away_

_**I'VE WORKED OUT HOW TO DO ITALICS!!!**_


End file.
